Science Meetings

I’ve spent a few days in science meetings before today — though it doesn’t happen frequently, yet, and I can still look on it with humor. Here are a few things I learned:

• You can always tell who the guy from headquarters is: he’s the one in a full suit and tie.
  The scientists, even when they dress up for a talk, rarely wear a jacket, let alone a tie. Many of the scientists don’t even bother to dress up for talks. That’s one reason I love this profession.
• A laser pointer in the wrong hands is a bad thing.
  Some people know that a laser pointer should be used to highlight a few things on their slides, and then turned off. Most think they need to constantly have the little, hypnotic light dancing across their slides.
• If something is truly “exciting”, you shouldn’t have to say it more than once or twice.
  Asserting that something is exciting ten or more times during your talk makes everyone a bit suspicious.
• Itineraries are just for show. Time limits don’t actually apply to someone as important as me.
• Even science meetings can turn into pissing matches.