The Green Pill
I did it. I went to the doctor for my winter depression, and now I’m on Prozac. For years I’ve considered getting help for my winter depression. Two years ago, I tried light therapy using GE’s Reveal lightbulbs – it worked for the year, but last year they did nothing for me. So this year I’m using drugs. I’m not sure how I feel about it, though. I’ve resisted over the years because I just don’t like the idea of taking drugs to alter my brain. I have this general feeling that the drugs will “turn me into someone else”. What I haven’t realize, though, is that the depression really does turn me into someone else – someone I don’t like – and perhaps the Prozac can turn me back into the person I like.
I didn’t heed the caution about drowsiness yesterday, and found myself driving on the beltway with an overwhelming urge to close my eyes for just a second. I resisted (or I wouldn’t be here now), and this morning I’m waiting until I’m at work, with breakfast in my stomach, before taking the pill.
It’s only been a couple days, and it’s supposed to take 3-4 weeks for the drug to take full effect, but I’ve already noticed some changes. Yesterday I felt just a bit out of sorts – a bit more talky than normal, and just…um…off (hard to put into words). But, this morning I did not wake up with the weight I’d been feeling the last couple weeks. I did not want to assume the fetal position and cry. Maybe it’s just psychological at this point, but just maybe this little green pill is going to make winter bearable.