Let’s just say I don’t dress up. At least not often, and usually when I “dress up”, it’s not business dress-up, but a more casual skirt and top or slacks and top. Today, for our visits on the hill, I dressed up in business clothes, complete with nylons and dress shoes.
I have to say that it’s amazing the difference in my attitude when I’m wearing professional clothes. I felt important, like I had something to say, something to contribute. And the “clump” of my shoes added to my feelings.
Having said that, I must point out that nylons are made of pure evil. To get them on in the first place, much grunting, hopping and dancing must occur. Then, of course, they have to come off part-way at times during the day as I…um…relieved my bladder. But they never go on the same way they did when I was at home. No, of course not. They are slightly twisted, or the crotch is lower than it should be.
In addition to nylons, I wore a body-constricting undergarment to make me smoother under the dress. I was smart this time (unlike last time), and wore the undergarment over the nylons. However, I discovered new adventures with the undergarment. It has snaps in the crotch to make going to the bathroom easy. I don’t actually use them, but today they came undone in the middle of the day. While I was standing in the hall. Waiting for a meeting. To make matters worse, shortly after the snaps came undone, the bottom edges of the garment started to creep up, eventually forming a constricting belt at my waist. And there was nothing I could do about it except keep my face neutral, go into the next meeting, and wait until I could get into the ladies’ room.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the shoes